Monday, June 11, 2007

What Scares Me and Makes Me Happy

As I get older, I find myself getting a lot more conservative in what I consider to be appropriate and what I like and dislike. It's one of my banes, but I shoulder on (rolling of eyes). So what scares me about Gay Pride is the presentation that we make to each other (I'm not real concerned about what others think). But really, now, some of us do need makeovers, and I'm not saying you need to lose weight, get a haircut, or use some make up. I saw so many fashion offenses, and Capital offenses at that. And I don't think any irony was being displayed.

Several cross currents roil beneath the surface of Pride. First, there's consideration for the weather. You don't want to be overdressed (well, most of us) because you'll melt. Then there's the in-your-face aspect that LGBTQ types may want to display for the S-type (leather, t-shirts with suggestive slogans, subversive costuming). Unfortunately, the rest of us see it, too. Some of us are trying to cruise the event in our cum-hither outfits, and those can be pretty obnoxious (harnesses, holey underwear, "sexy" briefs). There are the assimilationists wearing the polo shirts and khaki shorts.

When I confront my closet with all these choices, sometimes, I just want to climb in it. I have a real unease at Pride, because it is a type of freak show; I feel on display; I walk through the festival and am solicited by corporations eager for the "Gay Buck." I think I am a walking example of cognitive dissonance.

Of course, the flip side is that a lot of people are taking one day to tell the world, "This is who I am." Most of us really are queer in every meaning of that word, and Pride Day lets us give full expression to that. So I'll let go of my hangups and simply be Happy. I enjoyed myself at the festival. I volunteered for a couple of organizations. I got some sun.

At the end of the day, I'm delighted that my LGBTQ (and S) friends had a day to be gay. Maybe the time will come when every day can be a Gay Day.