So How Well Do You Know Happy?

So I did this silly quiz on Facebook. How well do you know me?

1. What is Happy's favorite food?
1. Fried Potatoes
2. Potato Salad
3. Mashed Potatoes
4. Baked Potatoes
5. Scalloped Potatoes

Obviously, I like potatoes, but what kind of potatoes. It's actually pretty much a toss-up between Happy's Famous Potato Salad, and Happy's Fried Potatoes, but the potato salad edges out the fried potatoes. The Scalloped Potatoes (March 8, 2009) are pretty wicked, too.

2. What is Happy's favorite activity?
1. Bronc Riding
2. Jello Wrestling
3. Oboe Playing
4. Potato Cooking
5. Square Dancing

Okay, I threw this in as a bonus answer. If you missed this answer (Square Dancing), you really don't know me.

3. Who does Happy most admire?
1. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
2. Abraham Lincoln
3. Mahatma Gandhi
4. Harvey Milk
5. Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Truth be known, I admire all of these people. I've read their biographies and was moved by their stories. One of these men aspired to the be very least among all, and lead his nation to independence through his sheer moral authority. Come to think of it, all of these men had tremendous moral authority. My answer is Mahatma Gandhi.

4. Which place does Happy consider his hometown?
1. Normal, IL
2. Moscow, ID
3. Potlatch, ID
4. Kennewick, WA
5. Wheaton, MD

All of these places I would feel privileged to have as my hometown. They all played an important part in my growing up and my life. Moscow, though, is where I grew up and first started exploring my world. My favorite newspaper headline comes from Normal: "Normal Man Marries Oblong Woman." Oblong is a little town in Illinois.

5. What did Happy want to be when he grew up?
1. President of the United States
2. a Medical Missionary
3. a Chef
4. an Astronaut
5. a Lawyer

At one time or another, I wanted to be all of these things (except an astronaut). But the one that really rang my chimes was medical missionary. I read a biography of Dr. Albert Schweitzer when I was eight or so, and I was hooked.

6. What is Happy's secret desire?
1. to dance C3A
2. to visit Thailand
3. to marry Ron
4. to master Portuguese
5. to move to New Mexico

I've discussed all of these with friends and hangers on at one time or another, but the one thing I'd really like to do is to master Portuguese. I guess it's now no longer a secret desire.

7. What most informs Happy's spirituality?
1. Radical Faerieism
2. Mormonism
3. Episcopalianism
4. Buddhism
5. The Big Bang Theory

All of these, with the exception of Buddhism have influenced my spirituality, and I think that all of these have important values, but the one that has mostly affected me is the Big Bang Theory (and not the TV show, although it is great television, and Ron reminds me of Sheldon. I can't wait for the second season to come out on DVD). Belief is an explanation of the inexplicable, and I believe the Big Bang Theory best explains that.

8. Happy considers himself:
1. a Control Queen
2. Machiavellian
3. Laid Back
4. Analytical
5. Cautious

This is a trick question. I'm asking this from my interior perspective. And I really do consider myself "Laid Back" no matter what the objective evidence shows.

9. Which of the following is false?
1. Happy's Mom is his Aunt.
2. Happy's first cousin is his twin brother.
3. Happy's grandpa is his first cousin twice removed.
4. Happy's Father's name is John.
5. Happy's brother's name is John.

This question is really better if you use the name my Mom calls me: John, rather than Happy. I really have a brother named John, which is why I like the name, Happy. And my Mom really is my Aunt, but my Father's name is Vernon.

10. Happy is seen around town driving:
1. a Toyota Prius
2. a Toyota Corolla
3. a Chevrolet Impala
4. a Volkswagen Golf
5. an Infiniti G35

When I got married, we drove around in a Chevy Impala. Since coming to DC, I've driven both a Toyota Corolla, and an Infiniti, but I'm now prowling the streets with a Prius. Get the GPS installled. Ron and I talk to its disembodied voice, "Turn right at next corner then turn right...."

Now you pretty much know everything there is to know about me, and then some. After making up this quiz, then rereading it, I realize that nothing and everything has changed. It was a fun little exercise, and I hope you enjoyed it, too.

Bitches in the Washington Blade

By bitches, I mean the ranting, whining, complaining kind that Phil Gramm talked about when he was being honest, rather than political.

The Bitches column in the Blade is a type of reality genre. It provides a guilty kind of pleasure for the reader, and a certain notoriety for the writers. Some of the quips/observations/idiocy rises to ironic, shallow entertainment. A lot of it is puerile crap, but even that has a morbid fascination value. Many of the writers appear obsessed with youth, looks, fashion, sex, and terribly failed relationships. Lesbians also come in for a fair amount of unfavorable comment, but not nearly the abuse older men (apparently, any guy over the age of 27) receive.

I point all of this out because I confess that I read this column every time I pick up the Blade. I catch myself chuckling at some of the lamebrain observations of what passes for gay in Washington, DC. For the most part, I don't see my gay friends, or gay me in it, and I often think of some nifty rejoinder that would probably get me bitch-slapped by a screaming 22-year old wearing some gay male version of a Jimmy Choo.

The column is offensive, but any public airing of artless prose ends up being offensive. Most of the writers appear to have the intellectual depth of a Jerry Springer reject. I suppose even they need a public forum. I am bothered by the amount of racism and misogyny that, on occasion, gets slathered on thickly in the column. While the George Bush Center for Intelligence out in McLean could be fooled into believing that the expressions in the column represent all gay opinion, don't you - gentle reader - carry the same misconception. Some of us airheads don't need to be published to prove our wit.

Medical Bulletin

Okay, no big news to report. It still stings, and I still have some blood in my urine, but it's no big deal, and I'm not letting it get in the way of a good time. I'm more concerned about my Challenge-Level attempt at square dancing than I am about my penis, because frankly, I think that's the right priority. Nothing should get in the way of square dancing, unless it's a cruise in the Caribbean in January.... (Tim, talk to me.)

I talked with my Mom and my brother over the last couple of days, and both of them continue to improve. And that's about it for this episode of General Hospital.

Tea, Enemas, and Men on Film

Okay, we've had sex, we're sitting on his couch drinking tea, and having this random conversation about the prep work involved in getting ready for sex. The tea was very good - I had green and he had peppermint to take care of some subtle congestion, of which he was aware, and I was not. The tea brought a warmth and shine to the moment. I had this flash, that this conversation should be recorded and put up on YouTube, and a lot of perplexed straight people would be wondering exactly how we were sticking what up where to do this before that in order to be... prepared.

He laughed, and we started our bad impressions of In Living Color's Men on Film, which lead to an illuminating discussion about gay stereotyping and self-inflicted victimization. I am so happy I am a gay man!

Big Love, Barack Obama, and Indigestion

We went out with Perry tonight for dinner at Bombay Restaurant in White Oak. The food here is really good, and tonight was no exception, although I'm teetering on the edge of indigestion. I did take a Priolosec OTC© before going there, and I hope it works. The last few times I've had Indian food, I've really paid for it with some searing gut pain. But it's worth it! We had the okra, aloo gobi, and spinach chicken tikka. During the act of eating, I really don't care whether I'm going to regret it later. I suppose if the food were awful, I'd avoid it, but I love this restaurant too much to give it up.

We discussed Senator Obama's speech. I'm thinking that this guy is Presidential. I had a long talk with my sister this afternoon about the speech, and about the rhetoric of the Liberation Theology of Black churches. It is no surprise to me why the words are what they are. I am ashamed of the white response, feeling victimized and pointing fingers - in fact blaming the victims of white oppression and hatred for being ungrateful, disloyal, hateful, and violent. The media has blown Dr. Wright's sermons way out of proportion, has not considered their context, and has shown inflammatory snippets. Whites don't understand Liberation Theology.

Then we lapsed into Big Love talk. I am amazed at how finely drawn the series is. It captures the eye and heart of the Mormon experience against which the back drop of the polygamist family is played. The series is becoming a guilty pleasure at our house. (Nikki is so evil....)

Eliot on CNN

Eliot Spitzer was all over CNN last night, rather his story was. The reporters were relishing it. Yes, Anderson Cooper, you were smirking a lot on camera last night.

Oh how the fall of the mighty is grist for the media. CNN at one point trotted out vignettes of Senator Larry Craig, President Bill Clinton, Governor Jim McGreevy, and Senator Gary Hart at their most embarrassing and memorable moments. Without calling Governor Spitzer a hypocrite, all of the bobble heads were calling Governer Spitzer a hypocrite. I understand that the Republican Senate leader in Albany is already crafting a scarlet letter for the governor.

The Guv was apparently caught up in a sting that included a wiretap on a high-priced business woman's phone. When Spitzer was a Federal Prosecutor he went after this kind of "corruption." What was this guy thinking? Duh! He didn't appear to be the target of the operation, but he's certainly getting the flack.

My take is that if the Governor can afford the (alleged) $4000/hour services, and the money came out of his pocket rather than the pocket of New York state taxpayers, hey, have at it! The private sexual shenanigans of politicians shouldn't be the public's business (unless, of course the politician is a hypocrite). And since when was sex worth $4000? Is this guy out of his mind? What's the qualitative difference between a $400 "date" (I wouldn't pay that much, either), and a $4000 date? There's only so much you can do in an hour. Inquiring minds want to know.

Review Time

Lots of stuff to review here: an (old) HBO series, a couple of movies, and a restaurant! I'll take them one at a time.

Okay, I've only seen the first two episodes of Big Love, but I'm already hooked. The characters are, perhaps, a wee bit overdrawn, but that makes for a good soap opera. I'm amazed at the research that went into this series. It uses the authentic language and customs of the LDS Church, and of the LDS Fundamentalists. I'll let you know what I think when I have a few more episodes under my belt.

Next up is the movie, The Namesake. This movie took me back to my boyhood when my parents befriended many an Indian college student at the University of Idaho. The film is beautifully done. The three big performances are Tabu as Ashima, the mother; Irrfan Khan as Ashoke, the father; and Kal Penn as Gogol, the son. Their story is about the immigrant experience, the American Dream, and a search for authenticity in New Jersey. Mira Nair directed this film. This is a wonderful drama. You just have to love those Bengalis!

The other recent movie we've seen (Netflix has revolutionized our life in the bedroom) is The Illusionist. I groaned when Ron said this film was on our list. I had seen a preview, and thought, "No way." I was wrong. I was completely taken in by the performances of Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti and Jessica Biel. If you like mystery, madness, and majesty, this may be your cup of tea.

Finally, on to restaurants. The boys and I went out to Old Europe in Georgetown last night to celebrate my birthday. The food was excellent, but the service was very slow. Let me tell you, a bratwurst in your belly takes care of a lot of things. The beer is chilled, so don't expect the continental tradition of simply cold beer. I'll go back, but not for my next birthday.