Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Mean Spirited

Usually when I use the words, "mean spirited," I'm talking about someone else. But sometimes it applies to me, too. Like yesterday after I got up. I must have gotten up on the wrong side of bed and taken some meanie pills, because I was a regular grouch, Happy with Bad Attitude and Bed Hair. I knew it would pass, but stay out of my way while I'm bad.

The person who suffers me most is Ron. And I'm publicly apologizing in this forum for sometimes (well... many times?) being snappish and nasty (in the bad sense) to him. If I ever treat any of you, my dear readers, this way, it usually isn't because I'm angry with you, it's just Happy being mean spirited. A walk, some food, maybe an extra coffee, a shopping trip, any combinations of the above will usually return my attitude to its normal sunny, sarcastic self, and you'll all be quite relieved.

Yesterday's experience involved computer hardware and software that was behaving badly, Ron trying to be helpful, me willfully taking Ron shopping* to a store that he wasn't all that excited to go to. I mean, it kind of gets diabolical. And I could feel it's hold on me, and I really had to restrain myself, which is scary, considering how mean I was being while restraining myself.

I don't like acting like Dick Cheney's public persona. I never auditioned for it, but I have it in spades sometimes. I don't know what kicks it off (well, Dick Cheney does), and I really do not like myself when I'm behaving so badly. It's my dark side, and my not-so-secret self. It's a mental thing, and it is hard to shake off when I'm feeling it, but happily, it usually passes very quickly, like bad gas at a cocktail party.

So if I appear ticked off, just give me wide berth for a half hour or so, then check back in. I'll probably be fine.

* After a few minutes, Ron did get kind of excited about shopping (Trader Joe's, what's not to love?) and by that time, my mood was out of the danger zone. Sweetie, I can be such a lunk, sometimes, and I'm sorry.