I have some exciting news!

Today is the last day of WAMU's Winter Membership Campaign! I am so gratified. Beginning tomorrow, I can listen to uninterrupted public radio again. I am so excited about this development.

These campaigns cause a time distortion anomaly (TDA) in my temporal lobe. The endless blather of campaign-speak dilates time and affects my auditory and semantic processing capabilities. It makes the Winter Membership Campaign appear to be endless in length (an infinitude of gooey, sweet, and anaestetic guilt-ridden arm twisting), and I break out in cold sweats and flatulence.

So you can see why I'm excited. I'll have Ira Glass all to myself without a local host trying to pick my pockets. I'll be able to listen to Diane Rehm without her producer telling me how much she would like me to support Diane. I'll turn on the radio and listen to quality programming about subjects that deeply interest me and engage my mind and heart.

And TDA will recede into the recesses of my cerebrum, until the Spring Membership Campaign hits the airwaves. I really will tune in WTOP. I promise.